


liberation -kaisoo.

by maryeols (rosyemperor)



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: AU, M/M, Mentions of Suicide, Mentions of homophobia, Troubled Past, and they drink because why not, i am really sorry this took a really dramatic turn, i talk about drinking a lot, okay here goes some warning, self-hate, they are in university together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-21
Updated: 2016-05-15
Packaged: 2018-06-03 12:42:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6611059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosyemperor/pseuds/maryeols
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Kyungsoo decides to throw a party, and everything falls down.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Regret- kaisoo pt.I

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Kyungsoo decides to get really drunk because he needs to numb himself to forget Jongin's rejection.

His eyes wandered through the window, the world outside his house was a dark quiet place right now. But his mind was loud –and so were his friends- and made everything shine too bright for his own good, causing him to close his eyes, at least now it was only his head that hurt. Maybe a tequila shot could solve that, and he was not getting one from the window. As soon as he tried to move, he felt the room spin under his feet. He had always been told not to close his eyes if he felt dizzy –or maybe the other way around, it is not like he was at his most lucid point-, so time to open them it was.

Kyungsoo decided it was the best move, because removing one of his five senses when they were already lowered due to the alcohol flowing freely in his blood could only lead him to trip and fall –and he was not very fond of that-. The road to tequila was long, considering his state. He took a look around his once tidy room, determining that the road was not only long but risky. _“Thank God I live alone”,_ he thought, the floor was filled with glasses and liquids, the table that broke was even more ripped apart and its remaining where all over the room. The people who caused all that mess where there too. His equally drunk friends were scattered across the room, alongside with their bottles and their screaming and their partying. Soon he forgot about tequila, aiming for more.

In the blink of an eye, he was climbing onto the top of his kitchen, with a bottle in his hands and a funny chant in his mouth **“Rum rum rum, I love my rum, even when it’s vodka!”** , causing ten eyes in the room to turn to him. Soon, the sound of his friends encouraging him to put the vodka from the bottle directly into his mouth would become the only sound in the room. **“All in, all in!” “Look at him, all drunk on his first time” “Go Kyungsoo!”** they would drunkenly scream. Only one of them was not screaming and laughing.

Jongin, watching his best friend from afar, was very conscious that was not Kyungsoo’s way of acting, he was also very aware whose fault was it. The dark skinned boy couldn’t help but pitifully chuckle before taking a sip from his cup, nodding his head. For Kyungsoo, anyway, the dark corner of the room in which Jongin was sitting drunkenly on a sofa, was the place he wanted to be, drunk or not. Still, he kept on drinking straight from the bottle, now with dancing included, on top of the kitchen getting more and more wasted.

Finally, Jongin gave in, deciding to go be a knight in a shining armour. **-“Soo, stop… Please.”** – He begged going through their friends to get to Kyungsoo, poking on his right leg once he arrived to his side. Kyungsoo didn’t want to hear him, even though all he wanted since he started drinking that night was his friend’s attention. He looked down at Jongin, vodka in his hand, and suddenly he found himself with the other hand stretching out to Jongin, inviting him to climb by his side, he was not sober enough to let his pride get in the way. The boy accepted his proposal, in the hope of taking the liquor away from him – **“Tomorrow is going to hurt like hell, Kyungsoo, let’s stop now”** \- he kept on saying. “ **I am having fun, can’t you see?”** –Kyungsoo replied, convincing no one with that act. He was not one to drink, but that night he felt it was the way to numb himself a little. - “ **This is how I deal now; don’t you like it? Let’s drink together** ”- Kyungsoo continued, offering Jongin the bottle. With a sad look in his eyes, he took it, letting himself get lose in that nonsense. Kyungsoo kept on dancing, leaning more and more on his friend. The crowd that was formed by the hype of first time drinker Kyungsoo was slowly disappearing, leaving the two of them alone on the kitchen, dancing on top of it.

Their hands were dangerous, starting to touch each other’s bodies in a dance Jongin didn’t have the bravery to dance until that moment, slowly drowning in alcohol and wishes. Kyungsoo had to take the liquid courage not to drown in his own mind. His thoughts were toxic, and punishing, blaming himself for trying, finding his own person guilty of the bad timing. Both wishing they never had their first kiss, both wishing it had led to a second that never appeared. But now they were dancing, one drowning in his lust and love, the other coming out for air, for he had been drowning in pain and guilt. Both were letting themselves free for instincts to come out, let tomorrow’s sober version of themselves take care of that mess.

The small one lips’ laid a kiss on Jongin’s jawline, only going up, kissing his cheek, than back to his neck. His hands playing with the other’s hair, caressing it. The tall one was dancing, the vodka bottle he took from the small one was nowhere to be found, and his hands were free to wander on Kyungsoo’s back. Their bodies pressing against each other harder while Kyungsoo’s kisses where feeling rusher, trying to approach Jongin’s mouth that seemed reluctant to accept the kiss, what a tease. Alcohol gave them a heat that was impossible to stop. Their lips hadn’t touched yet, but every fiber of them searched for the other.

The light was off, the music was loud, their friends were busy. They felt alone, the two of them were the only thing in the room for each other. There was no music, there were no friends, the dancing stopped. There were only Kyungsoo and Jongin, and their eyes locked on each other’s. One deep breath, and Jongin reached out to Kyungsoo’s lips, bowing to him, his hands around his waist, pulling him closer. Finally, their lips touched. Kyungsoo’s lips felt soft under Jongin’s, and they locked perfectly, as if they were meant to kiss. Jongin’s lips tasted like glory to Kyungsoo, they were passion, and found feelings, and a journey, and an adventure; Kyungsoo’s lips tasted like vodka and regret, like a longing, and it was precious. The kiss deepened from that first lock, the full lips of the small one were nicer, softer, more inexperienced, the other one kissed with passion, having practiced it a lot of times with different people and never the right one.

Soon they had to breathe. Their foreheads still touching, their eyes locked on each other, Jongin’s hands stroking Kyungsoo’s hair while the latter one’s were on his chest. They were both breathing heavily, caught up in the moment. Kyungsoo had the audacity to confess again, mouthing a little “I love you” that got no answer. Suddenly, the lights were on and his chest hurt like hell. The crowd was back, looking at them from every corner on the room. Everyone knew how they felt -no matter how hard Jongin tried to hide his love- except each other.

Everyone knew Kyungsoo felt a deep love for his best friend. It was big, and exciting, and it pained him to death. When he first realized his feelings, they were tolerable. The exciting crush began all of a sudden, and it was light, full of stolen looks and secret blushes, but it went growing as they grew closer. They were constantly together, the one to break Kyungsoo’s walls and know him on the inside, the only one that didn’t know about his feelings. The only one that didn’t know that Kyungsoo loved him for every little thing he did. Jongin started to date around, and then it’s when it became unbearable. He couldn’t sit and listen to his stories, his kisses, his more than kisses, his –luckily- never feelings. The day he decided he couldn’t go through it no more as the day it all fell out. When Jongin got his first actual girlfriend, days before the party, Kyungsoo’s feelings that had been so well hidden for so long, bursted through his mouth, demanding to go out and be revealed. Jongin, scared of his owns feelings and the possibility of losing his best friend denied his. But their first kiss still happened, wet in Kyungsoo’s tears, both in pain, both in need of each other, but both in different places. One too afraid and the other too hurt. It was intense, and it wasn’t beautiful, it was a single press on each other’s lips, and no one continued it for different reasons, hung in the air forever, with the taste of rejection. Jongin never gave him a reason, Kyungsoo didn’t ask for one. He wiped his tears off his face, leaving the room with a broken Jongin in it, with a single drop rolling down his cheek.

No one knew that story. Chanyeol didn’t know when he picked Jongin up for the party Kyungsoo had not uninvited Jongin from in the secret wish that he appeared to apologize and confess undying love for him too. Jongin did, indeed, know the story when he looked at the host of the party that afternoon and his heart broke a little. When he witnessed his friend get drunk for the first time. When he was drinking alone. When he passed out on a sofa and no one noticed because they were too drunk. He knew the story when tried to keep the alcohol off Kyungsoo. When he decided to dance with him. They both knew the story when they longed for each other’s lips.

Kyungsoo started to laugh at the situation. History repeating itself. His “I love you” was on the air, and he only got a scared look and tears. But Jongin’s grip on his waist was still strong and their foreheads were still touching… And the grip seemed to grow stronger as Jongin was starting to breathe heavily, the words on the peak of his tongue, trying to come out. In his mind they finally flowed so easily _“I love you too, I loved you too, I have always loved you too”,_ his mouth, nevertheless, was silent, burning with the words he wasn’t allowed to say. The laugh stopped, tension stepped as an expectation was starting.

 **“I don’t”** –he lied, breaking once again Kyungsoo’s heart-.


	2. blood-kaisoo pt. II

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Jongin just can't take it no more.

After that moment, the night changed. The whole room had a different aura now, everything was a mess, and the air was filled with tension. The flat owner was lying on the floor, with a new bottle of vodka in his hand, everyone too scared to go talk to him. His face was serious while he looked at the blank screen of the tv in front of him, his eyes were red and some tears still escaped his eyes. Jongin was on top of the kitchen, crying silently, not moving an inch from where he was standing two minutes ago when his lips were on Kyungsoo’s.

Another kiss that shouldn’t have happened to add to their list, that now counted three. What does people say about threes? A pattern? Jongin laughed through the tears remembering that saying, because it could be interpreted two ways, one is they shouldn’t kiss because it is always a mistake, the other being they kiss because they really want to, not by mistake. Another silent chuckled was made by Jongin when he looked at Kyungsoo. He wanted to get him and tell him everything he couldn’t. Tell him he lied, look him in the eye and profess him love, be the person Kyungsoo deserved. But he wasn’t. He was afraid of rejection, not by Kyungsoo, of course, rejection by the world that though not all love was okay.  The world outside their friend’s bubble.

Jongin had always had a good reason not to tell Kyungsoo about his feelings, but sometimes they didn’t seem enough to stop him at all. Every time he did, indeed, stop himself from spilling his heart out, he just had to think of his past, of his family, of what his love may cost him. Right now he had to repeat that in his head over and over again, because watching Kyungsoo like that because of him hurt him too much. Jongin jumped off the kitchen, not knowing where to go, but wanting an out. He ran his hands through his hair and took the only remaining bottle, he didn’t even bother to look what was it. He opened it with quick hands, rushing to pour the liquor into his mouth –it was tequila, he found- while he walked out of the apartment. No one was fast enough to stop him from leaving by reminding him he was not okay to wander the streets or take the car home, he wouldn’t have listened anyway.

Kyungsoo’s street was unusually dark, but the moon shone bright on the sky while Jongin walked the streets, tequila in hand, thinking about how he just lost Kyungsoo again. But he had his reasons. It was worth it. He wouldn’t be able to live if the world turned its back on him, and the world would turn its back on him, he was sure of that. Especially the person he cared the most in the whole world. A sip of tequila was required in that moment, because the mere thought of telling his father he loved Kyungsoo and his father’s reaction were enough to make him shiver. His family was messed up, really, and he was the only one left for his father, how could he disappoint him like that, when all his father wanted was for him to get married to a nice girl and have kids. His father wanted him to live happily. So how could he bring Kyungsoo into his house, knowing it would break his family? It was easy, he just couldn’t. Either way, it wasn’t like he didn’t like girls and couldn’t find a nice girl as his father wanted.

The streets were beginning to feel unknown for Jongin, who was more and more far away from Kyungsoo’s apartment, lost in a place he didn’t really know. He decided to sit on the sidewalk, leaning his back against a red building on the corner, away from people’s look. The bottle of tequila was quickly emptying, filling Jongin’s body. The boy was starting to feel a little anxious, a huge feeling of guilt in his body for being the way he was. Ashamed of himself and not knowing what to do he started to punch the ground, feeling that was the only way to let his feelings out properly. One, two, three, four, five times… He lost count when his hand started to bleed. He didn’t even notice the tears rolling down his face. He stopped when his injuries started to hurt through the effect of mixed alcohol. _“Why did he had to love who he loved and be who he was?”-_ Jongin thought for the millionth time. The bottle laid by his side, his hands on the ground and his head resting on his knees. Then, someone found him, not like he was conscious to notice.

**“Jongin! Jongin, is that you?!”** \- Junmyeon screamed, going on his knees to move Jongin’s face up. Jongin’s eyes were red and lost, his body was not responsive. Junmyeon was incredibly worried, seeing his friend like that and knowing how the other was back on the apartment. He sighed, trying to make Jongin’s body react, deciding to just hold him in his arms and call a cab to take them to Kyungsoo’s apartment again. **“Jongin, you’re scaring me, please.” –** Junmyeon called to him again. Jongin was listening, he just didn’t have the strength to move, everything was so hard, the world was so cold, and he was a disappointment to everyone. Still, he made an effort. **“I am okay… I am… Nevermind the blood.”** \- he said, as sincerely as he could, which wasn’t much. It was only then that Junmyeon noticed the blood on Jongin’s hand and clothes.

It wasn’t long until they reached Kyungsoo’s apartment, but it was enough for Jongin to find enough strength to move and walk himself to the door, with Junmyeon’s help, of course. The room was quiet, and tidier than when he left. All eyes were on them, probably on his white shirt with blood stains on it, probably on his hands, or maybe in his red eyes. Kyungsoo was across the room, but heavily drunk and all, he ran to him, taking Jongin in his arms, for he had been really worried. **“Wh-where have you been?”-** he asked with a shaking voice. A gret amount of ideas about Jongin’s whereabouts started to form in Kyungsoo’s head, wondering how he got those blood stains, and none of them were pretty. Jongin didn’t answer, he just collapsed in Kyungsoo’s arms, waking up a few hours later when the day was about to begin.

He was lying on Kyungsoo’s bed, and Kyungsoo himself was sitting on a chair beside him, completely asleep. His body hurt and the world was spinning around him, still he found a way to take Kyungsoo’s hand, deciding that maybe his father could be okay with who he was if he found a way to be okay with it himself. Kyungsoo didn’t wake, and so Jongin told him what he felt after a night of hate and alcohol and bad choices. **“Kyungsoo, I hope you are not listening to me right now** ” – Jongin said quietly, trying not to wake him. – **“But I do love you, I think. I just can’t tell you. I don’t want to feel it. And everytime I do not tell you I have my reasons. I thought maybe every time I shut it it would be less real. It didn’t. It just grew. It grew harder. But you know my family, you know my problems, you know I can’t. You know what can happen. You know what happened to my brother. You know the world we live in. But you are strong enough, and I am not. I love you for that. I love you for a hundred other reasons. But I can’t, and so I think is better if you don’t know I love you too, so you can get away from me and my toxicity, because you deserve better. You deserve someone that not only loves you, but let themselves do so.”** –Jongin let go of Kyungsoo’s hand when he stopped talking, as if that was a way to let him go.

He stood up, Kyungsoo still didn’t wake, and he left the room. Everyone was asleep, some on the couch, some on the floor, some on the other rooms. No one noticed him leaving. He entered his car, and just sit in there, waiting for the dizziness to go, and he started thinking about his father. And his mother. And his brother. He and his father were the only ones left. His mother abandoned them when his brother incident happened, and Jongin was pretty sure his father never recovered from that, or from his brother’s suicide, for that matter. His family was a pretty average family until two years ago. They lived well, his parents loved each other, his brother was top student in his class, Jongin was about to start studying his career in the university, everything was fine, apparently. And one day it all fell out.

It was a normal afternoon Jongin came home. The sky was rarely bright, with a blue it hadn’t been on a long time, but other than that, it was common. But as soon as he stepped at his door, he started to feel the change. The house felt silent, no one greeted him at the entrance, there wasn’t a single sound. His parents weren’t home, but it was weird for his brother to hadn’t arrive. Jongin went upstairs to his room when he heard a sound he hadn’t noticed before. Water was running. He dropped his bag and rushed into the bathroom. When he saw his brother’s body on the bathtub he fell to the ground. He didn’t know how to react so he automatically closed the water and reached for his phone to alert his parents. He left the bathroom, because he couldn’t deal with watching that. His mind froze, and he started to act automatically. Maybe he should look for a note, so he went into his brother’s room and looked for it everywhere, until he found it. It wasn’t a note. It was a whole diary, with a note stick on it that read: **_“Maybe today I finally gathered enough strength to leave you, read this. I am sorry, but I will always love you”._** The diary was filled with moments of battle his brother had to live on his own, too afraid to tell them, too afraid to let anyone know what he was going through. His supposed friends harassing him, his feelings of loneliness, his constant thinking of devalued self-worth, just because he was different, because he didn’t look good enough, because he dared to think differently, because he was doing better in class, because he was actually worse than them, that was his brother’s reasoning. Jongin felt nauseous. His brother was, quite possibly the most interesting person on earth, he was sweet, he was an angel, but still people took time to make his life a living hell. People’s impact and bullying led his brother to take his own life, which made Jongin’s life mission to fit in, afraid to follow, because his life had been taking with his brother’s. His family fell out after that. His mother left them, because she couldn’t stand to look at them and think of his kid. His father broke inside, but still tried to maintain a calm face to Jongin, and they lived again. They patched their life up. And then he went and fell in love with a boy in a society where it is not accepted. Where people are harassed because of it. And he couldn’t do that to his father. Because he was not strong enough to endure the harassment that would come with his decision.

Tears started to roll down Jongin’s face, making it hard for him to see Kyungsoo going to his car.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise this is going to end well.


	3. champions - kaisoo pt. III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the night finally ends.

It had been a long night for Kyungsoo. He knew it wasn’t going to be an easy night, after all he had planned a party –and invited Jongin, after everything that happened- with his other ten closest friends, it was definitely not going to be an easy night. But he just didn’t expect it to be that eventful… And heart wrenching. He had once again told Jongin about how he felt, after another kiss that had awoken everything inside him again, like a flame that was just waiting to be lit.

He knew how he felt about him, he was sure he wanted him by his side, he wanted to caress his face, leaving little kisses on it, he wanted to hold him in his arms, he wanted to do things he couldn’t talk about… He didn’t even doubt it. He knew he was in love, he was just trying very hard to stop himself from doing so, since rejection felt so bitter. But the sweetness of that second kiss, with a promise of hope… It had made him realize it was physically impossible for him to move on, heck, he didn’t even have anything to move on from, for they never had a relationship, they were just full of hidden and not-so-well-hidden feelings. Sadly, sweetness only lasts so long. When Jongin left, Kyungsoo’s love words hung in the air, rejected once again, the sweetness of the kiss was rotting on the back of his mouth.

But Jongin came back. Bloody shirt, swollen eyes, injured hands, drunk as hell. Kyungsoo had stopped drinking the moment the other boy left. He was worried, nevertheless, he was not in shape to go look for him, nor he wanted to do so, after all, he had just told him he didn’t love him, that his feelings were not reciprocate, he had just kissed him like that to leave him. Except he actually wanted to run after him, even if he was actually the reason he was on the run like that. He waited. And waited. And waited. Time seemed to be still, not advancing a bit while he was drowning in his worries. Junmyeon, being the most sober went on to look for him, Kyungsoo fell asleep somewhere in between them deciding to send Junmyeon alone or with someone else. The noise of the doors woke him up, and he saw him across the room. Kyungsoo himself was still drunk, but he run to him, arms opened, waiting to hold him. He had been so worried. He didn’t even care if his heart was broken, Jongin was his love, but he was his friend first, it was time to let go. He took Jongin in his arms, asking where had he been, but he did not get an answer, for Jongin just passed out in his arms. He led him to bed, sitting on a chair beside him to take care of him, sending everyone off to sleep, it had been a rough night for everyone.

He couldn’t sleep well that night, even when there was barely any night left to sleep. He just took some naps, waiting for his friend to wake up and tell him how he was, but Jongin remained asleep the whole night and great part of the morning after. Kyungsoo hadn’t moved, even if he was awake, he did not want to leave Jongin, in case he opened his eyes and there was no one with him. But when Jongin woke up, Kyungsoo was sleeping for the first time. Though it only lasted until Jongin placed his hand on his and started speaking. Kyungsoo didn’t open his eyes, pretending to be still in dream land, and Jongin kept on talking. The words hurt more than one hundred knives. It stung. Had he preferred to believe he was just not loved back? What was harder to bear? Jongin’s feelings hurt him deep, not because he decided they couldn’t be together for he could not bear the attention with it, he was okay with that, he understood… But Jongin thought himself toxic. How could he ever say that? Jongin, the purest heart Kyungsoo knew.

Kyungsoo didn’t move when Jongin left the room, instead he waited a couple minutes before following him into his car, parked on the door. He didn’t even think if Jongin wanted to see him, which he probably didn’t, but he wanted to tell him he knew, he wanted to let him know he understood, and he needed to make him see he wasn’t at all toxic. He climbed into the car, sitting on the co-pilot’s seat. It took him two looks to realize Jongin was crying his heart out, was it Kyungsoo’s fault? Was it because he had confessed his love again? He was devastated seeing him like that, so he reached for his arm in order to comfort him, but Jongin pulled away, leaning on the car’s window. That made Kyungsoo feel… well, bad, like Jongin did not want him there at all. He was not a very touchy person, but he wanted to hold Jongin; instead, he looked down and opened the car’s door. “ **Don’t leave** ”-Jongin said, his voice lower than usual, and a little cracking- “ **Okay.”** \- Kyungsoo replied, closing the door obediently, and making himself comfortable in the little seat. Jongin had stopped crying, but his eyes were still red, and he looked pale, which wasn’t usual. “ **You heard me, didn’t you?”** – Well, he didn’t have to be a genius to get to that conclusion. – “ **I… did.”** \- Kyungsoo replied, staring at him, studying every bit of his beautiful face. Jongin’s expression changed, it showed surprise, even when he had suspected that the heart shaped lips boy had listened to every word he had uttered. – “ **Why didn’t you answer?** ” – He said. - “ **It was pretty obvious you didn’t want me to, wasn’t it? so I didn’t**.” –Kyungsoo replied quickly. - “ **You had nothing to say about it?”-** Kyungsoo looked at him raising an eyebrow, like he couldn’t believe what he said. - “ **Of course I had, but like I said, you told me that because you thought I was asleep. I wasn’t. But I could not not hear it, you know? Still, I wanted to respect your wish as much as I could. Not that I did it well, because here I am, sitting on your car because I do have something to say about it.** ”-He was quick to answer, and Jongin just looked at him blankly, as if it caught him off guard, so Kyungsoo just went on. – **“I understand, Jongin, I understand. I know it is difficult and I understand if you don’t want a relationship, I understand if you don’t want to express how you feel, I understand, I do.** ” –His eyes were locked on Jongin’s. - “ **I know your reasons, because I have been beside you for a very long time. I know all your troubles, I know, I know, I know. You know I do. And so I understand.** ” –Kyungsoo said, his sweet voice starting to tremble. – “ **That doesn’t change the fact that I love you** ”- he said after a small pause. - “ **and while I understand, I still want to offer you the chance to let me be your shelter, not as a lover, just… You can come to me, when the weight on your shoulders is too heavy you can come to me**.” –His voice just completely cracked, as if tears were trying to come down. - “ **Heck, I do want to be your lover, though**.” – Cursing was not usually Kyungsoo’s way of expressing his feelings, but oh those feelings had been there a long time and he couldn’t contain himself. He even laughed a little with his “Heck”, which helped relieve the tension contained there, but it didn’t last long. – “ **I mean, I love you. I love you so much.** ” – He didn’t even know the moment he started looking down instead of looking to Jongin, but he stared at him again. Jongin was containing his tears, but Kyungsoo just couldn’t stop talking until he got it all out. - “ **And when I heard what you said… It didn’t even hurt the fact that you couldn’t tell me that you love me. It only hurt the fact that you think I deserve someone better. How? How could you say that? You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me, you changed my life, Jongin. I never had a friend like you, you lighten up my days. Fuck, I am so freaking cheesy right now, but I just… You are not toxic and… And I am going to stop talking now**.”- Jongin didn’t cry. Neither did Kyungsoo. They just stared at each other. – “ **Are you done?** ” –Jongin said. Kyungsoo wasn’t expecting that answer, so he just nodded, even when that answer made his heart stop for a second. But what he wasn’t expecting was the younger’s hand to reach out to his arm, pulling him closer. His whole body felt the rush that was emerging from Jongin as he pressed his lips against Kyungsoo’s. This time, it was awkward, there was no building moment, just the kiss. Kyungsoo didn’t even had time to tilt his head, their noses bumped but Jongin found a way. There was no other way to describe the kiss other than passionate. It was the way Jongin’s feelings came out. This time it didn’t taste like vodka or tequila. It didn’t taste like regret. It tasted like his heart just exploded. It was all the “I love you’s” Jongin didn’t say. It was all the feelings Kyungsoo had for so long. It felt like liberation. Jongin suddenly knew he could love Kyungsoo. He could make it. He could if he had him by his side, let the world disappear if they were together.

Kyungsoo had to take a deep breath. Jongin’s lips pressed against him felt like fireworks. The soft yet rough lips of Jongin. The rush. Like he wanted to devour him and Kyungsoo would so happily let him. Neither one of them spoke. Until one did. “ **I love you too. This time I am saying this for you to listen.** ”- Jongin said, stopping a little after continuing. – “ **I am ready to let myself love you. I am not sure if I am ready to… To let everyone know I do, but I am ready to love you, Kyungsoo. I love you. I accept that. I admit it, to myself, and to you.** ”- Jongin looked at Kyungsoo, who was just looking at him, taking deep breaths. - “ **And now what?** ”- The boy replied. – “ **I think now we step out of the car and let time tell us what this is going to be.** ”- Jongin said playfully. - “ **Will there be kissing?** ” “ **Yeah, lots of kissing, of course**.” “ **I am okay with that**.” “ **I hoped so**.” “ **Let’s go.** ” “ **Yeah, let’s go back to my place, I heard we have nine sleeping friends there.** ”- They locked their hands together instinctively while climbing the stairs to Kyungsoo’s place. Their friends were expecting them, looking at them from all points of the room when they entered. Yixing was sitting on the couch, smiling proudly at them, as if he knew (probably he didn’t, he just smiled like that to everyone, because he was always proud of his friends), Baekhyun (who probably suspected everything) was beside Yixing, with a sleeping Chanyeol (who was incredibly clueless about Jongin and Kyungsoo) on his legs. Kris had left, which was probably the reason why Junmyeon was now sitting on the couch with those three, looking at them with mixed feelings. Minseok and Luhan looked at them with a sincere smile, they knew, they were hoping the best for them. Tao and Sehun were probably still sleeping together on bed, and Jongdae went to the door to greet them. “ **Hey champions, rough night, yeah?** ”- He said playfully, closing the door behind them. – “ **We were about to appropriate your apartment, Soo. You two came back on the right time.** ”- A smile appeared on everyone’s faces.

Rough night indeed, but there was always a day to make everything bright again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... This is the end of the kaisoo story, maybe I will write an epilogue, I don't really know, but if I do it will be after the other stories of the series; next is chanbaek! 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this!!


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